“Mike is an extraordinary man. He’s brought me insights on how to reach people on the Internet that are so valuable. This is a man you should deal with. Take advantage of what he has to offer.”
World Authority on Leadership Psychology and the nation’s #1 Life and Business Strategist
As impressive as some of those testimonials might be, deep inside I was looking for more to life, and I started to notice the nagging in my conscious January 2018.
And this is the first time I've really openly talked about it…
I distinctly remember it was January 7th, 2018. I woke up one day and the reality of my own mortality sunk in. I knew I had to change my life in a big way.
Sure, I survived cancer… was accomplishing a lot…was helping others. But life felt out of balance and time was ticking. I wasn't as comfortable in my own skin as I wanted to be.
My physical fitness wasn't where I wanted it to be.
My relationship with my wife wasn't where I wanted it to be.
My relationships with the most important people in my life were not where I wanted them to be.
I don't know how else to say it, but it was like...
In a way, I had outgrown who I was.
What I was doing
Who I was doing it for
Why I was doing it
My “big why” and my “how” had changed - BUT my BEing been changing with them.
I needed reinvention.
So, I made a massive commitment to wipe the slate clean.
To rethink and reinvent myself.
I asked for help and accessed every resource, strategy and tool I had access to.
I got in the best physical shape of my life…
I fell in love again with my wife of 18 years - it was like we’re newlyweds and got my marriage in the best
place it could be…
Not only did I focus on my role as a husband and became very intentional about my time with Vivian, I also focused on who I was as a father and the leader of my family.
To be totally authentic and transparent with you, that song by Harry Chapin, “The Cat’s in the Cradle“ haunted me for years. It’s about a father who doesn’t take time for his son and how his son becomes just like him and doesn’t have time for his dad when he’s older.
I didn’t want to be that father who worked the way through my only child‘s years.
So I became diligent about individual “father and son time” with my boy Zak, and our time together as a family.
Here we are as a family on the edge of the Nile river in Uganda a few months ago
As for my work, well...I changed that too. I committed myself to doing deeper work…work where I could get paid for who I was being, instead of what I was doing.
And the more I talked about it, the more people just raised their hands and said;
Look - I’m not complaining. On the surface, things were good.
But the reality is, I had been living in chaos, staying busy doing what I thought I had to do in order to survive and to thrive, trying to stay ahead of a fear that something bad would happen if I didn’t. Old traumas that I wasn’t aware of fully.
My gut tells me you might... just.... know... what that is like.
It’s the fear “that maybe your past successes were accidents or luck.”
The fear that “if you don’t keep busting your hump 24/7, you’ll run out of money.”
The fear that “you won’t be able to repeat your successes again.”
But the biggest fear for me was if I changed what I did - I'd be abandoned.
And like any toxic behavior, that fear had not only been hurting me, it had been hurting those around me.
See, what you don’t know about me, is that I grew up in chaos, so in hindsight, it’s no wonder that chaos was my particular challenge to overcome.